Two years ago I had ended my first post with a question. I had asked myself whether I had the courage to face the world. The years have slid by and I still don't have an answer to that question.
A lot has taken place in these two years. Most significantly, dad passed away. In losing him, I lost my only true friend. At first the loss was unbearable but with time I have come to accept the fact and move on. I believe that death is as much a part of life as is any other facet of it. In pining for someone who is no more, we actually pity ourselves, and self pity is the worse thing that we can do to ourselves. Nowadays whenever I think of him, I think of the wonderful times that we had spent together, and it brings a smile to my face. I know that as long as I live, he will live with me in my thoughts, my actions and my memories.
The other significant change has been getting out of college and starting a career. The exciting and fun days of college life have given way to a boring, meaningless existence. I always seem to be waiting for the weekend, and when it finally arrives I don't know what to do and end up wasting time in idle pursuits.
Most of these two years, I spent in Mysore and Pune. I had a great opportunity to interact with people who are quite different from us in culture and language but somehow share the same basic values. I ended up making a lot of friends, who are from different parts of India, and indeed I am richer for it.
Yes, I have grown if experience makes a person grow. Again, in these two years I have folded back more into myself, sharing very little of my thoughts with anyone. And as far as the courage to face the world is concerned, I feel the way a person about to be executed feels. Running away is not an option, but neither can I look life in the eye and face it unwaveringly. Can I apply for a Presidential Pardon?
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